The Tronnies
by ZootyCutie
Summary: Starscream is certian to make every award show that he hosts to be the greatest on Cybertron! With the budget gone, can he still succeed? Based on "The Dundies" from The Office, rated T for instances of "over-energized" Transformers.


(In this story, I own Eco-Shine and Coo. Everyone else belongs to Hasbro. This story is based off the episode of The Office called The Dundies, which belongs to NBC. This was made for fun, and not meant to make a profit. Also, this is just a parody, so NONE of this should be taken seriously! Enjoy!)

You know the idiom "when the cat's away, the mice will play"? Well, the Autobots and Decepticons had one of their own: "When Megatron, Ultra Magnus, and Sentinel Prime are too busy to care, the others will party". And by party, that means it's that time of year for the Transformers: The Tronnies!

"Tonight is The Tronnies, the annual Transformers award show on Cybertron. And this is everyone's favorite day." Starscream explained to no one in particular, holding up a plastic trophy of a generic Transformer. "Everybody looks forward to it, because, you know, a lot of the Transformers here, Autobots and Decepticons alike, don't get trophies, very often. Like Eco-Shine or Bulkhead. I mean, who's gonna give Bulkhead an award? Maccadam's Old Oil House?"

"Besides," he added. "It's really, really funny. Like, a Decepticon will go home and he'll tell his neighbor, who might or might not be an Autobot, "Hey, did you get an award?" And the neighbor will say, "No man. I mean, I slave all day and nobody notices me." Next thing you know, Decepticon smells something terrible coming from neighbor's house. Neighbor's slagged himself due to lack of recognition. So..."

------

"So, ready for the…the Tronnies?" Ratchet asked Arcee, who was doing some work.

"Ugh…" She groaned in disgust.

------

"You know what they say about a battlefield; how it's so scary that you can't look away?" Arcee asked, also to no one in particular. "The Tronnies are like a battlefield where you want to look away, but you have to stare at it because a Decepticon's making you."

------

"Hey, hey, hey!" Starscream said, walking in-between Ratchet and Arcee, speaking in a deep and raspy impression. "It's Fat Ratchet!"

"What?" Ratchet asked, raising an optic ridge.

"Fat Ratchet! You're Ratchet!" Starscream repeated, to no laughter, and just decided to cut it short. "So, why don't I take you on a tour of past Tronnie winners? We got Fat Ratchet here. Ratchet, why don't you show your Tronnies to the people?"

"Oh, I can't, because I keep them hidden." Ratchet admitted. "I don't want to look at them and get all cocky."

"Nice idea." Starscream said, being none the wiser.

"Mine are at home, in a display case above my bed." Blitzwing, in his Icy mode said, as he walked by.

"Gyaah. TMI, my friends. TMI." Starscream said, cringing a little.

------

"TMI? Too Much Information." Starscream explained. "Um, it's just easier to say TMI. Used to say "don't go there"…but that's lame."

------

"And here we've got Optimus Prime. Optimus is a Tronnie all-star, aren't ya?" Starscream said, walking over to Optimus. "Why don't you show them your bling?"

"Don't know where they are. Think I threw them out." Optimus said, acting as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Oh, no you di-int." Starscream said, crossing his arms.

"…I think I did." Optimus flatly said.

"W-why did you…" Starscream started to ask, getting a little choked up.

"Say, we got to order some more appetizers this time. We ran out last year, remember?" Optimus said, completely changing the subject.

"Yes we should. I... you know what? I wanted one of those little oil cakes, but when I got off stage," Starscream said, completely going with the subject change, and turning to Bulkhead, who carefully lowered his oil can. "SOMEONE had eaten all of them."

------

"…To Coo it's the "show me the Energon" award!"

"Starscream has taped EVERY Tronnies awards and now, he's making me look through hours of footage to find highlights." Arcee exasperatedly said.

"…That's supposed to be confidential." Coo said in the video.

"He has the award-ah!" Starscream from the video said "...it's a type of song that we are going to play for the femmes. Hit it, Blitzwing!"

Blitzwing in the video (once again, it was Icy), played the song Mambo #5 on a Transformer-sized recorder, as Starscream sang:

"A little bit of Arcee, all night long, a little bit of Eco-Shine on the thing..."

Eventually, something white sat in front of the camcorder, and the entire screen looked like it was stuck in a blizzard. Starscream could still be heard singing.

"…A little bit of Slipstream everywhere…"

"Oh, yeah. This is the part where Grandus sat in front of the camcorder." Arcee explained. "It's great."

"…A little bit of Wreck-Gar with some Garbage-Os…A little bit of Ratchet with some Energon…A little bit of…

While being "forced" to watch Grandus' bumper, and listen to Starscream's singing, Arcee covertly mouthed "Oh my Primus" and made a strangling gesture with her servos, getting a laugh from Ratchet.

------

"It was you!"

"Live and learn."

"It wasn't me, I swear!"

"Yeah, it was!"

Eco-Shine, Sari, and Flareup had gotten into a conversation that they were laughing about, and catching the attention of Blitzwing (still Icy), who walked up to them, and looked at them, slightly cross.

"So, vat's ze joke?" He asked the femmes, crossing his arms against his chestplate. "You're not perfect, either."

"We're not laughing at you, Blitzwing." Eco-Shine explained.

"So, who are ve laughing at?" He asked the femmes.

"Um, just something someone wrote." Eco-Shine said, rubbing the back of her head with her servo, and looking at the others.

"Who? Freezon?" Blitzwing suggested.

"No, no. Just somethin' someone wrote in the femme's room wall." Flareup said, laughing a little.

"Vat iz it?" Blitzwing asked, leaning in. "Who wrote it?"

"Um, it's kind of private…" Eco-Shine admitted.

"It's about Starscream." Sari whispered, making the femmes laugh again.

"Zat is defacement of company property. So you better tell me." Blitzwing said, staring all three of the femmes down with a stare that was about as icy as his powers. "Sari, if you tell me, you vill be punished less."

"…Okay, NOW I am laughing at you!" Eco-Shine said, cracking up, as Blitzwing just looked stone-faced.

------

"Will her highness, Slipstream be descending from her loathing of her creator to visit us at the award show tonight?"

Starscream was talking to his clone and technical sister, Slipstream. She really didn't like her creator, but Starscream was obstinate enough to want her to come. And to pay for the whole thing.

"It's a two and a half megacycle flight from Chaar, Starscream." Slipstream said from her commlink.

"Well, why don't you take Astrotrain?" Starscream suggested. "Work on your plots on the way here, take a stasis nap back!"

"No." The femclone flatly said.

"Come on, Slipstream! This is important!" Starscream practically was begging now. "This is the validation that you approve of this for us!"

"I don't approve of this, Starscream." Slipstream said, trying to keep her cool as much as she could. "You have the budget and time for one Autobot-Decepticon party a year, so I'm not paying for this!"

"What do you mean…I mean…come on, Slipstream!" Starscream said, practically stumbling all over his words. "You're blasting an A-pellet at me, here!"

"Really? I'm shooting an acid pellet at you?" Slipstream said, sounding completely disbelieving. "You already had a party for no reason on September 9th."

"No reason? That was the 09/09/09 party! That only happens once every billion stellar cycles!"

"…And there was the luau…and the black hole fundraiser that somehow LOST a lot of money…"

"No, that was not a fundraiser." Starscream said, completely sure of the point. "That was a FUN raiser!"

"Well, I don't understand what the point of a black hole FUN raiser is…"

"I think a lot of 'bots were affected by that footage!"

------

"This is a character…that's loosely based on…um, on Yoketron…"

Starscream put on a prop samurai helmet, and held an envelope to his head, and closed his eyes, looking like he was deep in thought.

"Swindle and Rattletrap's black markets COMBINED, The Elite Guard, and the old Energon station in the alley."

He then opened the envelope, and read it, trying not to laugh.

"Name three places that have better leader skills than Starscream."

After getting no response, he got serious.

"Here's the problem: there's no open bar because of Slipstream, and it's the reason that comedy clubs have a two drink minimum. It'll be fine; I just…wish there would be over-energized 'bots…"

------

Meanwhile, Flareup was walking out of the femme's room, where Blitzwing was just hanging around, and quickly walked in before the door closed all the way, only to be chased out and berated by a furious Eco-Shine.

"Blitzwing, get out of here!"

"No, no, no, no…" He protested, getting pushed by the young femme.

"What were you doing in the femme's room?!!!"

"…no, no, no, it's not vat you think…"

"Why were you peering over the stalls?!"

"No, vhy vere YOU in zere?"

"You're a sicko!"

"Vat vere you doing in zere?"

"You, are, a sicko!"

"I am not!"

------

"…The Tronnie award for "Longest time without contact to the known world" goes to Arcee. Arcee, everyone!"

The latest award on the video archives (and the one that Arcee got every year) was always given to her due to the fact that she still wasn't completely up to date with some of Cybertron's latest ideas and technology after being woken up from her stasis lock. Fittingly so, seeing this made her cringe a little.

"Man, when's that girl going to get with this century? That's what I have to say. Annnd, it looks like Perceptor's accepting the award for Arcee."

In the video (and in real time), Arcee was glancing down in pain and embarrassment as Perceptor accepted the award, to at least give her a tiny bit of dignity.

"Thank you, Perceptor! Anything you'd like to say on Arcee's behalf?"

"Um…" Perceptor said, trying to think of something. "…She'll see you next year?"

"Heh! Hope not!"

This destroyed the last bit of Arcee's dignity. Ratchet, who was watching Arcee, also felt her pain…

------

"I'm not changing that! It's the best one!"

Ratchet had confronted Starscream to talk him into changing Arcee's award. Starscream wasn't taking it too well.

"No, it's hilarious, you're right." Ratchet admitted, but kept a straight face, and continued. "I just think 'longest time without contact to the known world', well; we're all expecting her to be able to stay on track with the modern times soon."

"That's why it's funny." Starscream said, sticking to his point. "Every time Arcee's out of it, it just gets funnier!"

"Well, if you keep using the same jokes, it just comes off as lazy." Ratchet said, walking away from Starscream.

"Oh…" Starscream said, taking the though to spark. "…Lazy…"

------

Meanwhile, Blitzwing was making a speech to the remaining Transformers in the office.

"Excuse me, everyone, could I have your attention please. I just wanted to say that ze femmes in zis office are terrible. Especially ze vons who vrote that stuff about Starscream on ze bathroom wall." Blitzwing announced. "Having a bathroom is a privilege. It is called a femmes room for a reason. And if you cannot behave like femmes, well zen you are not going to have a bathroom."

"You're taking away our bathroom?" Arcee, who was walking out of the conference room, asked.

"Ve vill have two mech's rooms." Blitzwing stated.

"But where will we…go?" Eco-Shine asked, lowering her voice at the end.

"Be prepared to hold it in." Blitzwing said. "From the beginning of ze day to ze end."

"Starscream…" Strika said, as he entered the room.

"Yes?"

"…Blitzving eez banning us from our bathroom."

"Okay, well that's just ridiculous, so just don't!" Starscream said, and then faced the triple changer. "I don't have time for this now…"

"No, zere need to be repercussions…" Blitzwing started, interrupting Starscream.

"Just don't talk. Don't-"

"…For 'bots' behavior…"

"Don't talk-"

"And it's-"

"Just SAP IT YAP IT!" Starscream finally yelled. If he had nostrils, they'd be flaring by now. He then calmed down, and started to talk again.

"Okay, looks, I know there have been a lot of rumors flying around about the Tronnies this year. How there is no money, and how there is no food, and how the jokes are really bad, but WHAT THE PIT EVERYBODY!? I mean, Primus. The Tronnies are about the best, in every, one of us. Can't you see that? I mean, okay, we can do better. So, tonight, for the first time, we are inviting all of your friends and family to attend the awards with us."

"Yes!" Blitzwing said, pumping a servo in the air. Everyone was pleased with that idea.

"Yeah, not bad, right?" Starscream said, much happier that everyone was happy with the idea. "So let's make this the best Tronnies ever!"

"Best Tronnies ever!" Blitzwing said. Everyone was hoping for the best. In a few hours, the Tronnies were about to start!


End file.
